28 March 2011

Unwinding

Restitution: the move a baby makes to find it's way into the world. What happens when a baby decides to restitute slowly or not at all? It's what we providers call the fine art of Dystocia. Do we love it? No! I have heard from some OB's that Midwives are "brave" for being able to manage such complications outside of a hospital suite. Brave...Brave...I can remember not feeling so brave. Was I being forced to "dig deep" and as deep as I can go to trust in safety and trust in the body's wisdom. Yes. What have been the results? Babies come out, they are born.

Why don't you want to restitute baby? What's in there that's so great? Or is it that opening is shaped just a little uniquely and it's not so easy to fit through. How can I help you? Come on, one more contraction. Deep breaths (momma and provider). The release will happen. The release will happen. One more contraction. So we wait for the contraction, because that provides the force. If with the next contraction, still no progression, we as providers begin to act and the flight or fight hormones work in cadence between mom and provider. It is a team effort, and there is no "I" in team. There is a tedious protocol when it comes to managing dystocia, as when not resolved after one or two maneuvers you must act quickly to reduce damage to both momma and baby. You think about mom, you think about baby, you pray. You think about the resuscitation station. You think about postpartum hemorrhage. You get the mom out of the tub. When "encouraged" to dig deep, I work in an active form of meditation. Or maybe it's silent recitation.

So here i go...digging deep to "wonder." What is the one thing I call upon when I am watching a woman push and birth her baby? Is there more than one? Do I ever reflect on my energetic/karmic influence on a birth? I have got all the tools. I can hear the babies heart, I can see the mom's well-being, I can work with my environment and it's inhabitants. Where do I dig to go into action? Even if my role as a player in this genuine dance is really off in the distance, where am I stuck? What frees me? Freedom. Wonder. If I show up, fully present and in my most loving state, will this be enough?

I remember getting tested for our final exams in midwifery school and walking into the Dystocia lab. There, an actress sat, "birthing" her baby. It was nothing like the test when it happened alone, with no other assistant beside me. When I dug deep, I heard Suzy Myers and Gail Tully slowly walking me through the steps. I felt fear ripple through my body. I talked to the baby. I listened. I took deep breaths. Loved ones came. I saw the guides I call on to help me. I saw the Board of Alternative Medicine in Montana. I saw my sister midwives. Somehow, they all came to the birth for a brief moment. Then I called deeper and remembered things I never knew I'd remember. And they left. I worked. Then baby was born, vigorous and mad at me (for a while). This is the act of digging deep in Obstetrics and we all have to do it. And we all talk about it. We share and tell our stories.

If you are finding yourself "stuck" what is it that inspires you to unwind and jump back to your path? Where is that well inside of you that gets you to "deep" and clicks the light back on? That last little squeeze can be the greatest effort on a newborns behalf and it is the beginning of life, a very important step in the first breath of life. We will continue to restitute throughout life and I hope today you explore resolve and restitute to your call. Enjoy.