21 January 2012

De-part Two

When life brings you unexpected events, what do you do with them and how do you move through the rip in the fabric to move into more light, move into those vulnerable spaces in life, and go off and take that leap? Take the risks? Begin the adventure? Trust that your highest heart and good will carry you in the right direction? Well, I don't know if there are answers any more. There is more trusting a process of listening. Listening real carefully to that quiet quiet voice inside of us that gets real loud when it's time to begin.

De Part Two...Unexpectedly, I find myself turning around from the West Coast and moving back East. Further than Montana and to my home land. The Motherland...well a motherland I never thought of going back to once I graduated from High School. This week, I begin the adventure back to Minnesota. A decision that was hard to make, but one that keeps me on my path. A decision to work for a year and save more money for Graduate School. A decision to be close to my family, to our cabin, and to friends that too have migrated back to Minnesota. I'm going with what I can carry and will come back to retrieve my things in Oregon. My sights set on the goal of Maternal Child Health and playing an active role in it's progress and healing, and a personal furthered relationship with Graduate School. Work. Creativity. Projects. Play. Love.

My time in Oregon has given me this motivation and insight to follow this opening. I have had the opportunity here to be placed on some home-birth hater blogs while I was here. A new experience. I do wish I could have met these women (and men) who have been hurt by home birth and actually had conversations with them, rather than having to read inaccurate and defamatory information posted on their websites. Learning opportunity. I have had the opportunity here to meet wonderful mothers and families, all whom I enjoyed very much. Attended a birth with a husband from Montana and a strong Oregon woman that opened my heart to gratitude for working with competent midwives and our licensure in Oregon, and for solid advanced Midwifery Skills. Learned to love rain, running long distances in it and the smells of Old Growth Forests.

When we explore unexpected events in birth, we first look at how we imagine the outcome will be at first glance. Often times, it's frightening and overwhelming. Then we practice what it would be like to have this event occur, but in a place where everyone is supporting you, where you are loved, and where you trust the process. When you ask what people see and most times the unexpected event holds promise, growth, and hope. This is my experience now. I recently read a line in a deliciously entertaining book. It read, "Happiness is a risk. And if you're not a little scared, you're not doing it right." As I begin this adventure, I am thrilled, a little scared (maybe even a lot bit scared), and breathing. Breathing. Breath.

Onward.