White Blank Pages

The other day, my mother asked why I hadn't written a blog post in a while or if I had given up on it. As I have stated in the past, I don't credit myself as the best blogger. However, I do credit myself for giving my audience reading pleasure and hopefully you can read something that inspires you to move on throughout the day. Of course, most of my stories relate to pregnancy and birth and the babymoon/postpartum periods in women and newborn lives. I speak of storytelling in my blogs, and recently I have obtained a notebook with white blank pages to begin writing a new story. As I refocus for the coming year, I hope to fill up these blank pages with a map. Be it our blank pages are often electronic and today inspired by a song, I can start here on this white blank page.

In August, I took some time to be with my sister, who lovingly is now a mom to this sweet guy above who is called James, after his granddaddy and our dad. The birth of this little soul has pierced my heart open. I have learned my sister is the warrior I always thought she was when she made those mudslides for me when we were little. Or was she a queen? I still think warrior. Her experience validated my trust in midwifery and my trust in the blessings of modern medicine, when combined together I stand with conviction by saying a collaborative system is the most solid system we can create. Birth from home to hospital, from unassisted to planned cesarean births need to be honored because guess what midwives and physicians...Again, It's not about us (as providers). It is about the choice of the parent and every choice is right.

As for the choice of a sister midwife, I want to take the time to send my absolute respect for Erin Ellis, birthing warrior and highly intelligent midwife. She birthed a new baby girl into her own hands unassisted, at home on September 27th. You are amazing, truly rooted, and inspire me daily.

My choice to take some time to refocus on my career after 5 years of concentrated work is one that was not easily made. I found myself in a situation that had me making tough choices and ultimately it is the right choice, even if it seemed absurd at first. I am a midwife who has successful outcomes and my clients applaud the level of my care. Yet, it is necessary to take some time to re-evaluate my structure and build onto the foundation I have created. As my goals of this time on sabbatical become clear of the direction I will head, you will see me here more. You will continue to see one central governing body. The body of staying true to my goal to transform and empower the lives of women through integrative medicine and women centered care.

You will see me living and working with the same passion, vibrance and drive that I embody and one that has been resting for a while. Now it's awake. I know right down the center of my body what that means. This time, I am meditating on a flow that brings me down river and to larger bodies of water. My mom once said, "You put off your dreams and you'll forget about them." My dreams were almost forgotten, because of diminished vision. They wake now, for the sake of many. They wake for me and my vision.