Turning Season

Rob Brezney last week wrote, "Technorati, a search engine for blogs, says there are well over 100 million blogs on the Internet, and that figure doesn't include millions of Chinese language blogs. So self-expression is thriving on a global scale, right? Not exactly. Most blogs -- the estimate is 94 percent -- have not been updated for at least four months." Being that I write in spurts, I had to check in to see if it had been four months. I realized it was a month since I last posted.

In my childbirth education class, we spend a whole evening surrounding what happens in labor when we experience an unexpected event-one not on a birth plan or soul plan. One of my personal life mantras is to "walk your talk." Therefore, when my unexpected event surfaced in late August-that being putting my active midwifery hands to rest for a year and redefine my role in our health care system-I had to go to some of the exercises I give my students to understand how I operate in these times. It is not easy, that is what I can say...So when I watch all you students explore your unexpected event, draw it, and then discuss it in front of a group the element I realize I have left out is simply one of saying, "Thank you for being courageous while sharing your vulnerability." As this blog is a reflection of self-expression of that which effects my role in medicine, I love the vulnerability one exposes themselves to when they can willingly and publicly speak in regards to their path. So here I am, walking my talk and continuing to expose my unfolding.

I'd say that winter feels closer than further away, today more than any other day. It's the turning season in mountain culture. It's also a day where I can see that the profession of midwifery wants me to stay in tune with the advancement of the profession. However for me, right now, the daily role of a working midwife is not a sustainable life. In the past months, I have tried for most possible positions that come up in the want ads for health care, along with many other highly suitable applicants. Since we officially live in one of the most desirable communities in the Northern Rockies, it is a tough competition for a desirable position when the population is booming with incredibly talented, brilliant, and educated people. I continue along, moving forward.

At first, I struggled. As do most when life's unexpected's hit you in the face. It's kind of like a face shot (of snow for the less mountain literate reader). You don't expect it, but as the first shot of the year it is welcomed like some sort of baptismal event. As I continued and found my footing, I realized my two feet hadn't been planted in the ground. One foot in, one foot out and that is the way I ran my life for the last 2 years. The foot that was in, midwifery. The foot that was out, the rest of my life. So I turned.

Two weeks ago, amidst a really "damp" couple of weeks, I found myself reaching for yoga and meditation and for more running and the turning over of my garden. Whatever I could do in my free time to get that lagging second foot in the earth. I connected with my lady friends and reached out, even though I have to have rubber-woman arms to reach out sometimes my friends live so far from here...Another turn. I snapped those rubber-band arms back close to my heart and reached for those close to home. Most of all, I spent time with the earth, the changing season from an amazing heart grabbing autumn and watched as the leaves fell and snow began to fall-in bits and pieces.

Today, I find myself both feet in. Fall line and another turn and another. Don't ask me how my process speeds along, it just does and often times I just go with it. After a couple years of fighting against myself just to stay standing, I find it's over. I may not have got the jobs I wanted or the one five people suggested to me because, "You would be perfect for this position." However, I have opportunities in front of me that are connected to my intention from this time away from "catching babies" and actively working in Women's Healthcare. I swore I "thought" I knew what I wanted to do. Statistic: most people will change the course of their career seven times throughout their lifetime. This doesn't mean they will change professions, they just change the course they were headed in. Aside from this statistic: most people have greater success when they change the course of their profession 1, 2, 3 or even 4 times. Pocket of fresh and turn. These opportunities are leading me in the direction of my work, which inevitably work is love made visible. At least, that is what I want it to be for me. Even if it does mean I temporarily am a fish monger. I have to pay the bills.

In the meantime, I continue to reach for the goals of seeing to it that maternal and infant mortality rates decrease, midwives are accessible around the world and synonymous with all other maternity care providers, and dreaming big. We can work hard, still have a sustaining life and experience happiness. So as you make your first turns you snow loving people you, remember to exhale before you go deep and empty all the air out before you inhale then come up. And remember, that the unexpected event can be one of growth, life-learning, faith, and rebirth.

White Blank Pages

The other day, my mother asked why I hadn't written a blog post in a while or if I had given up on it. As I have stated in the past, I don't credit myself as the best blogger. However, I do credit myself for giving my audience reading pleasure and hopefully you can read something that inspires you to move on throughout the day. Of course, most of my stories relate to pregnancy and birth and the babymoon/postpartum periods in women and newborn lives. I speak of storytelling in my blogs, and recently I have obtained a notebook with white blank pages to begin writing a new story. As I refocus for the coming year, I hope to fill up these blank pages with a map. Be it our blank pages are often electronic and today inspired by a song, I can start here on this white blank page.

In August, I took some time to be with my sister, who lovingly is now a mom to this sweet guy above who is called James, after his granddaddy and our dad. The birth of this little soul has pierced my heart open. I have learned my sister is the warrior I always thought she was when she made those mudslides for me when we were little. Or was she a queen? I still think warrior. Her experience validated my trust in midwifery and my trust in the blessings of modern medicine, when combined together I stand with conviction by saying a collaborative system is the most solid system we can create. Birth from home to hospital, from unassisted to planned cesarean births need to be honored because guess what midwives and physicians...Again, It's not about us (as providers). It is about the choice of the parent and every choice is right.

As for the choice of a sister midwife, I want to take the time to send my absolute respect for Erin Ellis, birthing warrior and highly intelligent midwife. She birthed a new baby girl into her own hands unassisted, at home on September 27th. You are amazing, truly rooted, and inspire me daily.

My choice to take some time to refocus on my career after 5 years of concentrated work is one that was not easily made. I found myself in a situation that had me making tough choices and ultimately it is the right choice, even if it seemed absurd at first. I am a midwife who has successful outcomes and my clients applaud the level of my care. Yet, it is necessary to take some time to re-evaluate my structure and build onto the foundation I have created. As my goals of this time on sabbatical become clear of the direction I will head, you will see me here more. You will continue to see one central governing body. The body of staying true to my goal to transform and empower the lives of women through integrative medicine and women centered care.

You will see me living and working with the same passion, vibrance and drive that I embody and one that has been resting for a while. Now it's awake. I know right down the center of my body what that means. This time, I am meditating on a flow that brings me down river and to larger bodies of water. My mom once said, "You put off your dreams and you'll forget about them." My dreams were almost forgotten, because of diminished vision. They wake now, for the sake of many. They wake for me and my vision.

Skipping record

I may sound like your favorite record, after a fresh scratch, that just keeps skipping. However, this summer seems to be a reflection on love. The reflection of new beginnings, new life, new births, and how love is constantly recycling. This morning I made a search on the internet to see what the word was out there about how ACOG is going to address the new changes in regards to VBAC's. Instead, I ran into this new journal called SQUAT. It has kept me returning at periods throughout the day to read the journal amongst my time with my sister, Jennifer, and her partner Sky as they await the arrival of their lil-bit.

This publication is awesome and speaks directly to my soul, even if on the outside I don't reflect the radical, anarchist, feminist midwife. At heart, once you get deep inside it's there and it's convicted and committed to transforming the lives of women through birth and way beyond that as well as transforming the birth environment.

As I sit in a house that is expanding it's vibration of love and the size of it's family, I am inspired by a quote from For the Love of Birth, by Jennifer Summerfelt,

Because when we are witnessed in the energy of Love, when we are held and trusted in our total greatness, we, as women, can give birth in love, and that ripples into our family, our community, our country, our planet, and our cosmos. I also believe that the men who witness the miracle of birth from a place of trust and love also become transformed and they, too, become the healers of the planet (SQUAT, Summer 2010)

My year 11 teacher would ask me, "So Becca, what did you think of that?" And I would say this now...The work of my hands is evolving and changing from where I ever imagined it to be or go. It has been asked hard to change since May and there is not a whole lot I can do about it. I have witnessed many a birth from a place of trust and love, much so that as I read this quote I can sit back and say I have been lucky. This place has completely transformed my view of living on earth. I've come to realize this past month I cannot turn back and hope for it to be the way it was, however I can move forward with just what Jennifer speaks of in her article "trust and connection."

Healing this planet is taking a lot of work and conscious effort on our parts. If it is as easy as tapping into Love and trusting it and moving forward in our doings from a place of love, then you'd think we would all sign up. Not so much so it seems to me. The greater consciousness has other work to do. But this small group of us out there doing this work, we're generating enough voltage right now to keep the light lit and for me keep sounding like a skipping record.

In closing, SQUAT also inspired me to reconnect with the activist and the inner-anarchist that is not willing to follow the grain and is totally inspired to healthfully disrupt the current state of midwifery. I'm over the current state I am surrounded by, because (guess what) I am selfish and want to see change, continuity, support and most of all Love evolve. So as I commit to my path, I commit to change and r-EVolution. Just like my father and ancestors encouraged me to do.

Placenta Love

Front and Center, I have full faith in the placenta and the work it does. This inspires me to write more on the postpartum, but for today I thought I would share with you a photo sent to me from clients who birthed recently. I had gave them the table, re-finished with chalkboard paint. The message sat on the table for the week prior to the momma's birth, and here you see the home and life force of her sweet baby girl. Thank you for sharing this picture. May all readers explore the health and benefits of placentas in the postpartum, whether you ingest it or plant it. I love this photo. Thank you placenta.

The Labor of Love

The last week had me away from writing, while reflecting and discussing love. After a long conversation about love in the postpartum and how most relationships experience "the labor of love," it became apparent it was time to try to write an article on love in the postpartum period. Let's be honest, love relationships and all our relationships change and evolve when individuals become parents. Not only do you have to ebb with the relationship of you and your spouse, you learn to flow with new tasks when nobody really wrote the book on parenting. During our conversation, I reflected on a book I had to read called, "How to Be an Adult in Relationships" by David Richo. It is based from Buddhist principles that he calls, "The Five A's." When applied, the 5 A’s can help us move away from blame, fear, judgement and move us to positions of compassion, realism, and openness about life and relationships. My goal today is to take these 5 principles and make some sense of them and how they reflect on the postpartum. Wish me luck!

Attention: Think back to your first few months postpartum. Think back as if you're watching a movie and see everything, see every visitor and all you can recapture. Observe, listen and notice all the feelings at play. Now watch the reel of your relationship with your spouse, what does it look like? Has it changed? Do you give attention to your relationship? How has your attention changed? How is this change affecting your relationship with your spouse? If you give attention to the matters at heart, can you shift back to the understanding love you once had when it was just you two? First write these things down and bring them to one another to inspire conversation and make the changes.

Acceptance: When you commit to a partner and commit to raising a family, you commit to the “we” in intimacy not the “I”. That does not mean you have to give yourself as an individual up, however it means that you and your spouse will have to spend time making your relationship functional and accept your individuality. If you first accept yourself as you are, and then your spouse as they are then in relationships we often feel the flow of energy moving freely. Harder said than done, acceptance takes practice.

Appreciation: I was talking to my friend one day. She was telling me of the stress her relationship experienced since the birth of their first son. I asked her if she remembered how he appreciated her throughout her pregnancy. I reminded her that he was kind and compassionate and a thriving individual who outwardly expressed his gratitude for her all the time. It took this reminder for her to reflect on all the ways they both express their appreciation for one another, since the birth. Later I received an email on how their relationship was coming back around and she was able to have more appreciation for her family, for her love, and for herself. Sometimes we just need a reminder.

Affection: What is affection to you? What is affection to your partner? How do you receive affection? How do you give affection? Ask these questions. Practice affection for yourselves as individuals. Find time to give each other 5 minutes of connection time a day. If you and your partner are lacking in the affection department, try to begin to walk a path together like you did before you had children. Find ways to bring back the love in your life, whether it's by "dating" again or exploring new ideas of affection. Remember, affection can be as sweet as a hug.

Allowing: You are who you are and you've been that way since your birth. Just because you found a partner to share your life with and vice versa, and now you share a child, you are still who you are. Allow yourself to be exactly you, and allow your partner to be themselves without taking control. If you don't know who that person is, because your whole life has changed since you had a baby, then dig and explore to find your love essence. If you need help finding the tools to "dig" and do this by exploring counseling, whether individually or as a couple.

We can "midwife" ourselves and our relationships as we grow to new numbers in family, and in age. As a couple, explore the opportunity of practicing the 5 A's and experience how each action can aid and bandaid the labor of love. Enjoy your love.

Simple Reminders

I was panning through an old presentation and came upon this quote from Gera Simkins, the President of MANA (Midwives Alliance of North America):

Midwives have the vision and skill required to bring forward the best...in women’s health care that serves the individual, the family, the community...and serves in a sustaining manner.

The start of the week brought the Solstice, the day we fill the earth with light and begin to watch life grow and be fertile. With this quote, I am simply reminded of the love, activism, and advocacy that midwives make in our world each day. Thanks Gera for leading our way.

Storytelling

I love the art of storytelling. When it comes to a birth story, the reflection of a woman comes out as she proudly announces her experience and her new arrival. I love birth stories. I love them when they are flowery and juicy. I love them when they are three sentences long. It's rare you get the birth attendants birth story, because it's not our birth. We can always add our part. From my perspective, this mother had enduring confidence in herself and trusted every step of the way. When a birth unfolds, such as Jenna and Morgan's birth unfolded, it is sometimes unimaginable that the birth process can be so quick. I had yet to check her cervix when she got the first urge to push and when I asked her to breathe through some of the initial "pushie" contractions. When her body began to shake with hormones and the look in her eye said, "Let's birth this baby," the process began. I believe a mother's body knows best. I love being reminded every birth has it's own tune, and we as the midwives and doctors must learn to dance a new dance every single birth. Sometimes, we can repeat the steps...but that is on a rare and blue moon. Thank you Dodge's! Enjoy the beginning of a new moon phase and also the new week!

Morgan Perry Dodge, born at 7:23 a.m. on Saturday, May 29, 2010. He weighed 7 lbs 12 oz, is 19" long, with a 15" head circumference. Here is his story:

I woke up at 1:14 a.m. to a sharp, painful contraction. I went into the bathroom, not wanting to wake up Ben, and came back to bed a couple of minutes later. I tried to go to sleep but was awakened by another contraction at 1:27 a.m. Again, I headed to the bathroom, but at this point I was a little bit scared and shaken up, so when I came to bed, I woke up Ben. I told Ben that I had had 2 contractions and I wanted him to sit with me through the next one, and we could start to time them. I told Ben that I thought they felt much different than anything else I had felt before. I was a little shaky and feeling really scared, honestly. I think that I knew it was the real thing happening, but I didn't want to say it out loud.

We don't have any regular watches or anything to easily time the contractions, so Ben quickly downloaded an app for his Droid that times the contractions for you. Gotta love technology! After about 5 more contractions that came at most 5 minutes apart, we called the midwives (Rebecca Egbert and Erin Ellis of the Green Midwife Community Birth Services). Rebecca advised that we try to relax and sleep through them (yeah, right!), and that maybe we get into the water, and to call her back in an hour. We filled the tub and I sat in it for a few contractions, but I found that I wanted to move, and the tub wasn't big enough for me to move in. I really liked the hands and knees position, or the knees-to-chest position, so I sat through a few contractions on the bed in the knees to chest position. I really liked that.

At 3 a.m. or so, we called Rebecca again to give her an update, per her request. Again, she advised that we try to rest through the contractions and we agreed to call her back when we wanted her to come over.

Around 3:30 a.m. I decided that I should call my Mom to have her make the drive from Missoula. I hadn't wanted to call before 4 a.m., but at this point, I wasn't sure I she was going to make it if I called any later. We didn't tell her how close the contractions were (3 minutes from start to start!) because we were worried about her making the drive as it were, being so early in the morning.

Around 4 a.m., we called Rebecca again. I was feeling a little "pushy" but knew that I should be trying to resist the urge, because I didn't want to push before I was fully dilated. But, realizing that things were progressing quickly, we called Rebecca and told her we wanted her to come over. She told Ben that "She's probably only 2 or 3 cm right now, and she'd come over, but it still might be a while". Ben hung up the phone, relayed the message. In the next contraction my water broke (4:14 a.m.) and I told Ben that "if I'm only 2 or 3 cm dilated, I don't think I can do this!" It was intense, and because I had no previous experience to compare it to, I was worried that perhaps I was only 2 or 3 cm dilated and not just not nearly as "tough" as I thought I would be!

Rebecca made her way over, showed up at around 4:45, at which point I was laboring on the toilet or in the hands and knees position, hanging on Ben's lap. I was very vocal during the contractions, and I was surprised at how natural it felt to vocalize, and how I didn't feel self-conscious about it at all, even though I thought I would be. Rebecca took one look at me and said "Okay, I'll get set up", realizing I think that we didn't have as long as she thought we would with most first time mamas.

The advice to resist the urge to push continued, I'm not sure how long, but maybe for another hour even. I finally told Rebecca that I just couldn't resist anymore - it was taking all of my willpower and concentration, and I found myself pushing during contractions, like I couldn't help it. She did a quick check, determined I was fully dilated, and gave me the go-ahead to push!

Pushing was WAY better than not pushing. It hurt, sort of, but it was also incredibly rewarding. I could reach in and feel Morgan's head, and I could feel him enter the birth canal. It was awesome. It definitely did hurt a bit, and I was afraid of the "ring of fire" that I've heard about, which is the burning sensation you get as the tissues of the vagina get stretched to the maximum. However, I knew it was inevitable, so I might as well embrace it. We ended up pushing for about 30-35 minutes, primarily in the squat position, with me resting between contractions hanging on Ben's legs (he was seated behind me in a chair). We ended up giving the final push in the hands-to-knees position, which proved the absolute most effective at that point.

When he was born, Ben immediately said "It's a boy!" and I exclaimed "Oh! He's so cute!" I was expecting the typical Winston-Churchill look-alike newborn, but to me, MY baby was cute :) I guess that's the maternal love hormone cocktail working it's magic. I wish we had gotten the birth on video like we had planned, but everything happened so fast that I forgot to get the video camera upstairs, and for that matter, I didn't show anyone how to use it, and I even forgot that we had a video camera until I was pushing. We did get lots of birth photos that we are making a slideshow out of so I'll share those soon :)

Reflecting on the event, the thing that surprised me the most was that I never felt like I needed or wanted any drugs. The only time I had any self doubt was when the contractions started up for the first time. Well, and then when Rebecca said she thought I might be at 2 or 3 cm is all, but I knew that she wasn't here to see me so she was just guessing. At least, I had hoped she was very wrong!

Afterwards, Ben asked me if it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I thought for a minute, and said "No". It wasn't, really. It was intense, and it definitely wasn't easy, physically. But, it was easy in the sense that I trusted my body to do what it needed to do, and I knew that whatever was going to happen wasn't optional. My body was going to give me a certain amount of pain/stress, and it was up to me to handle that pain in the best way I could. I also knew that, like everything else in life, this too, shall pass. I just kept thinking about the fact that when this was over, the pain would be gone, and I would have my baby in my arms.

However, if Ben had asked me the same question sometime between 5 and 7 a.m., I might have had a very different answer for him. That's the thing about natural birth - it only sucks when you're in it, and then you immediately forget.

Thanks, oxytocin!

Nurturing the Yin

Tip of the week: Nurturing the Yin, especially in our Yang mountainous environment. I went to bed last night meditating on the Yin, the feminine, also the ruler of our left sides of our bodies. In women's health, the left ovary and the left fallopian tube are ruled by Yin energies. In midwifery school, I was notorious for reminding my classmates that as busy midwives and students we needed to take time out and prevent our adrenals from crashing on us. It became the butt of jokes and I was reminded up until graduation of my ability to remind others, "You have leaking adrenals." When your body is naturally doing "the work" of pregnancy, there is already an inherent process going on where your adrenals need more support than your non-pregnant state.

So what can you do to keep your adrenals strong and healthy, and keep your already working pregnant body healthy and regulated? Here are some of my tips (and a lot of these tips have been gathered from personal experience and my work with Chinese Medicine practitioners, naturopaths, herbalists, homeopaths and energy healers).

On a daily level:

Tip #1: Evaluate your personal stressors: work, relationships, community, family, and environment. Evaluate how much stress you really do have or take on in a day, if you notice it existing in your body than I recommend you sit down and relax either lying or in meditation for 5 to 10 minutes a day. Only 5 to 10 minutes will help you prepare a relaxed mind for birth and labor. Take a "fetal love break" if you haven't had the time to connect with your baby, this too will give your adrenals the regulated and healthy hormones it needs to operate.

Tip #2: When you're pregnant, you're encouraged to eat a healthy diet and exercise. When you're body is doing the work of pregnancy, I also encourage you to eat foods that support the adrenals. Here's a list based from a Chinese Medicine philosophy:

millet	barly	tofu	string bean
black bean	black soybean	mung bean	mung sprouts
kidney bean	blackberry	mulberry	blueberry
melons	wheat germ	potato	seaweeds
spirulina	chlorella	black sesame seed	water chestnut
crab	clam	sardine	eggs

As you can see, these foods might already be part of your diet. Dark foods, such as black beans, black sesame seeds, dark greens, etc. will feed your kidneys. They are known as "kidney tonics." Amply nurture your diet with these foods, and your adrenals have a better chance of fighting off depletion. Diet is the easiest way, in pregnancy, to ward off any conditions that put you, the mother, and your precious baby at risk. The number one way to avoid problems in my book is diet.

Tip #3: Exercise, exercise, exercise. The number two reason we prevent conditions that put mom/babes at risk is by having or establishing a daily physical exercise routine. It is most beneficial to get 45 minutes of aerobic activity, heart rate rising activity to be exact. This means it is best to get a brisk walk, hike, run, bike ride or swim in while also doing some stretches or yoga to end your day. If you're feeling depleted and have a Qi Gong practice, please do this activity. Qi Gong is a beautiful practice to help your adrenals flourish, plus it brings Qi to you, your baby, and to the space around you.

Tip #4: Believe in yourself and your ability to have a strong and healthy pregnant body. Attitude alone can energetically affect our adrenal system. The more stress, depression, and weakness invited into our bodies the more we deplete our adrenals. We need these adrenals to be strong people, so every day of your pregnancy breathe in strength, confidence, and health and direct it towards your adrenals. Maybe I sound woo-woo, but we all know mind over matter really works.

Tip #5: It's springtime in the Rockies, it's WET and there are nettles EVERYWHERE. Go on a hike, harvest nettles (please wear gloves that are thick because they do sting) and hang them up to dry or blanch them in hot water and drink away! They may taste like dirt, but they are one of the richest mineral dosing herbs we can find. Drink nettles often throughout pregnancy and support your adrenals. They are great for iron depletion, as well.

Having strong adrenals helps us operate with ease, while living in our healthiest state. I guess I bring this to you today, as my tip of the week, because I love and believe in your body. We are an active mountain culture, and we must remember to thrive in the Yin energy of this generous and damp time. Pregnancy is a Yin state. Nurture yourself to your fullest since pregnancy ends in a shorter time than ever imagined. Even if you're 34 weeks pregnant, nurture yourself, love your adrenals, and feed your body and your baby what is healthiest. Make the most of these final weeks.

As I rampage to end the crisis of leaking adrenals, find light in your day!

A Conscious Woman

Inspired to give a tip of the week, I come upon the Conscious Woman Website and the work of Gloria Lemay as I wait for the current downpour to reside. Gloria leads a series of webinars named, "Essentials of Maternal-Infant Care." Take some time to check out the webinar options as a birthing woman, midwife, physician, doula, or anyone interested in Gloria's perspective.

Thank you Gloria and to the women of Conscious Woman!

Thank you notes

A first for this midwife...During midwifery school, I wrote a thesis called "The Greening of Birth." A considerable portion of this paper focuses on the collaboration of maternity care providers to greatly reduce the rising maternal mortality rate in the United States. This means midwives and OB/MD's work together when they need to in order to keep birth healthy and safe. Once I started my practice, I did my best to say "thank you" when we transported to our local hospital for the care a midwife cannot provide. I wanted to begin building connection and community for myself as a provider, and for my clients/patients. I still send them every transport.

Two weeks ago, I transported a momma who planned to birth at home. The onset of pre-eclampsia and her baby turning breech brought her to a hospital birth. We met with an fantastic OB, Melissa Augustyn. The parents asked for the hospital to follow their birth plan, a usual occurrence. Dr. Augustyn was very supportive of their requests. When asked if I could be support during my client's birth, for a cesarean, she told us that a recent hospital policy kept any supporters other than the partner out of the surgical theater. Dr. Augustyn "pushed" to get everything these parents wanted for their birth, and therefore I was allowed to attend my client during her birth. The surgical staff was very respectful to the "sacred" birth environment and to this mother, as she birthed her sweet baby girl. I was with my client in the recovery room, as father and baby went through the rituals of the nursery. When I left the hospital that day, I was amazed at the day. Two weeks later. I went to clean out my office yesterday and checked the mail. There was a letter from Melissa expressing gratitude. She said she was writing a note to me at the same time she received mine. I like that kind of synchronicity. In a system where there is plenty of bureaucracy, it is heartwarming and human to know that we are on the way to making collaborative systems in maternity care.

As the rise in "The Greening of Birth" and maternity care begins, I am excited for more midwives to show what we DO know and what we have learned. We can send the continual message that we are the experts in normal birth and pregnancy. I am thrilled for more midwives to receive recognition from other maternity care providers, creating that collaborative force.

With this, I am also reminded every birth is magical.

Maiden-Mother-Crone

This morning my momma started an email with the following sentence, "Bec, since the day you were born, you have stolen my heart--just like your sister did-- and I have wanted you to have a perfect life." It was in this new day that I (not having yet birthed any children, yet witnessing many births) had an

ah-haa moment knowing that every mother I know wants the same thing for their sons and daughters that my mother wants for us.

In old traditions, the cycles of women were known as "Maiden-Mother-Crone." We enter times, now, where not every woman becomes a mother, physically. But energetically, there are many ways to tend to children and become a mother. We all have something in our lives that 'on the day it was born' our hearts broke wide open and our souls poured out, and whomphhh, we hope and pray that little thing has a perfect life. Yet, who gets a perfect life?

Maiden, we are, from birth until we start to swell and gestate. If you are a woman who choose not to gestate a baby, what in life have you been gestating, nourishing and caring for over time? What are you gestating today? What have you mothered to creation and continued to love, just like a child? Here in this place, we play, we create a mess and start over again, we experience joy, we fall in love, and we find ourselves.

Mother...Your body swollen, life force running through you, you caring for one thing like you've never cared for yourself. During gestation, what has inspired you creatively? What do you fear about the transition and how is this fear eased? How will this maiden transform into a mother? My mother has been a constant blessing, even when challenging, to the progression of my life. She is the only woman who believes in me with such strength and yet challenges me until I push off...She is probably like this because I "pushed off" from her womb in about 4 minutes once she actually began to push in labor. After the birth of becoming Mother, we grow up. Even if you become a mother later in life, you get to grow up AGAIN. Can you see the joy? Every birth, we grow into motherhood further and further. We get wrapped up in our "seeds" and tend to them, as we tend to ourselves, our commitments and to life. Age comes to us and our wised souls watch as our families evolve, our children(metaphoric or physical) leave us and begin their own lives; and as Mother, as woman, we begin again.

The wise woman, the Crone, the auntie, the grandmother, this woman passes on the wisdom, the lessons and the unconditional love that she has experienced throughout life. She holds her daughter as she births her babies, life dreams, goals and losses. She endures the magic that is passed through our ancestors and generations, hoping to pass it on to a "seed" that will carry this wisdom into the wind. Her hair is gray, lines show in her face, and after years of watching her mother's and aunt's hold the wisdom she begins to carry the torch.

With my birth sister about to have a baby, we three women represent Maiden-Mother-Crone and what a profound time it is in our lives. Midwives "mother" women into motherhood all the time. Today, I write this as a new mother sits at home with her week old baby girl and to me revels in the love she feels. Today, I write this for all of you exploring your phases in womanhood. May you find light in your transformation.

Blessed be!

A first for the US

Aviva Jill Romm, a name we hear in the midwifery community, and now entering the medical community. I check up on her progression every now and again, see what she's done, see what she's written and if she has graduated from Yale University. Today, I realized that she is creating the FIRST Women's Health Internal Medicine program (through Yale University) in the United States. Here we go girls! Get ready for transformation.

Check out this woman's "gifts" if you are a natural childbirth momma, interested in women's health from an integrative perspective, or just believe that we are the ones who can empower change in our medical system on her website:

http://www.avivaromm.com/

I am thrilled to keep up with her and see what more she has in store, including conversations on vaccinations, natural birth and postpartum care from birthing women, and women's health. Thank you Aviva!

Out they come...

A quick good morning to y'all. Out comes a new movie "Natural Born Babies" to fill the screens of Americans. A review from Molly Remer came out yesterday and was posted on The Citizens for Midwifery blog.

This lovely short film produced by a midwifery service in California, is a great “ad” for the benefits of homebirth and of midwifery care. Natural Born Babies has a very clean, fresh, and contemporary feel and features a multicultural collection of homebirth families talking about their experiences in front of a white screen. Something that is particularly striking is that some of the people speaking with love and enthusiasm about their midwives and their birth experiences include a cardiologist, an anesthesiologist, and an ER physician!

The first part of the film is titled Interventions and features both men and women speaking about birth, referencing how pregnancy and birth are treated like medical conditions and including a lot of discussion about the prevalence of cesareans. The point is made that, “no epidural can replace human touch.” The second part is titled The Birth Specialists and points out that OB/GYNS are pathology specialists, whereas midwives are trained in normalcy—“we take low-risk women, and keep them low-risk.” Midwives are specialists in normal pregnancy and birth. Because of the film’s emphasis is wholly on out-of-hospital birth and hospitals are critiqued very soundly, hospital-bound couples viewing the film may find that it causes their defenses to rise.

Several of the parents are holding their babies as they speak and a CNM speaks briefly as well (citing both ACNM and MANA). The CNM manages Orange County’s only accredited birth center. I enjoyed the presence of a bio-physicist dad originally from Holland saying, “everyone I know was born at home” and noting that “you give birth the same way you live.” Several of the couples speaking do refer to the father as “delivering” the baby, which is a long-term pet peeve of mine.

Special features include a 10 minute version of the film, an outtakes section, and a look inside the South Coast Birth Center. At the end of the film we see that one of the couples is the director/producer of the film.

Natural Born Babies is a fast-paced film and though it is filmed in a “talking heads” format, it cuts quickly from person to person, thus keeping the viewer engaged. If you are looking for an informative video that is homebirth and midwifery friendly, but that does not include any birth footage, this would be a good addition to your library.

Take the time to seek this movie out, I am adding it to my library now. Enjoy the sunshine all you Bozemanites, and for the rest of you may springtime activities fill you up.

Reviewed by Molly Remer, MSW, CCCE; http://talkbirth.wordpress.com

New Sprouts

Once again, I have taken a hiatus from the world of the web. Inspired by many recent opportunities, I have thought focusing on this blog rather than a blog, facebook, twitter and all the ways to reach out. Let's say, I am synchronizing my efforts so I can produce something good, a resource for those who want to be inspired by birth and midwifery and the ways of parenting. Maybe in this redirection, there are also days when I just write to the Green Midwife community about happenings, creative ventures and new learnings in Midwifery.

So...what have I been up to since February? Let me introduce what my small practice has been doing...we've been growing.

Simon was born to Robin and Pat back in February, on a very snowy day. He was a sweet little guy who has brought lots of light to the life to us.

Modina Millie Mattie was born to Modina Sr and her father Dave in March. She came to us 5 weeks early, and she showed

exemplary vitals and was able to go straight to her momma's chest where she started nursing and she truly hasn't stopped since.

Ania Lynn was born next, on her family farm, and she came quite quickly...All 9 lbs 1 ounce of her. It was one of those midwifery births that restores all vision and clarity to the reasons why I love this job with all my soul. (This picture got removed from facebook for being "obscene").

And finally, sweet little baby Trinci Blue was born in the wee hours of the morning. Her momma gave all her go with the pushing and around 2 in the morning she slid out into everyone's arms. Many people had been waiting for this birth, and it all came in perfect time.

With the other birth centers in town thriving and I trying to find my place in this midwifery community, I realize Green Midwife has been thriving too. In February, Erin Ellis, CPM, LM moved to Bozeman and it's been wonderful to have build a new friendship and really like a big breath of fresh air has come around town. We all welcome her to the community and know she will add new light. It is our hope that we can work together to bring more unity to the local midwives and inspire more frequent gatherings, peer reviews and continuing education opportunities that make midwifery an empowering job and build better communities. A fun journey is ahead of us.

I got to take a vacation to Louisiana and Texas, to visit my boyfriend Ross where he is working on his family farm. It was an opportunity for me to reconnect with my heritage and a time to learn about his history, being my family comes from Southwestern Louisiana/East Texas and his from North Louisiana. We met up briefly with some Green Midwife clients who birthed about a year ago, in Austin, and of course beautiful Sara Janssen and her traveling family caught the moment on camera. In there, I have had some time with family. My lovely older sister Jennifer and her partner Sky are expecting their first baby in August. If that baby comes in August, I will be the only woman in our direct lineage not born in August. Thank heavens for my aunt Marilyn, who is born in September.

Finally, Green Midwife is moving out of the Main Street office in Bozeman on June 1st. As spring sprouts new life, so do I to this blog and to the other arenas of an enjoyable midwifery practice. New horizons are on the way for this midwife in Bozeman and I am looking forward to watching the growth of my practice here in Montana.